Funny Thanksgiving Poems

Bring Your Wit To The Feast

Take the pressure off with these funny Thanksgiving poems. What pressure? That moment when everyone's had their say around the table and it's your turn to contribute a poignant, heartfelt thankss.

If you're naturally eloquent, go ahead and express proper gratitude for family, health, and financial stability. If you're like most of us, though, these free, funny Thanksgiving poems will be a lifesaver as well as a mood lifter. It's not mandatory that giving thanks be a somber affair, so dare to be a bit offbeat this year and go for the chuckle!


The Irreverent Thanks

Thank you for all the years.
They weren't the smoothest,
There were a few tears.

And thank you for this good food.
Oh...for the rest of the night,
(Look around the room and add)
Thank you for checking your 'tude.


No Thanks

man's torso with protruding belly

Thank you for the old age gear.
Thank you for the receding hairline.
Thank you for the tears and fear
Of my ever expanding waistline.




The Leftover Plea

I love Thanksgiving.
It's my reason for living.

The beautiful spread,
I leave blissful and fed.

So family and friends,
As the night ends,

Leftovers (point to yourself)
Not Rover’s.


Cheers

I was so hopeful
Not to be too full.

But bite after bite
As my pants got too tight,

I came to a decision
With thought and precision,

To eat only a mouthful.
Would be ever so helpful.

(Pause)
Go ahead, refill my cup.
I'm not that grown up.


Be Prepared

Let it be known
Through the seeds that I've sown.

I've traveled this road
And lived by this code.

I'm prepared for whatever
Through every endeavor.

Know as I sit down to dine
I require plenty of wine.

(Pause)
Oh, it's not what you think.
It's just that I drink.


Say When

I want to give thanks
For that pound that I lost..
Although I'm really in shock
I can't believe what it cost.

And while we're on it
This couldn't possibly be.
I'm ready to spit!
I was going for fit.

Although it was one,
I was shooting for ten.
Is it really my fault
I can't say when?


I Give Thanks

family seated around dinner table

I give thanks for all I have.
I give thanks for all I can do.
I give thanks for all I see.

Oh, yeah, and thanks for all of you, too.


Now that you have some ideas for funny Thanksgiving poems, feel free to make them uniquely your own. Throw in a relative's name, ham up the delivery, or create entirely new verses. It's time to give thanks for a dollop of humor in the day!

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